Buenos Aires. Population 13 million...

It's a Greatest Hits compilation from some of the world's most beautiful and interesting cities - the long cobbled leafy streets of Paris, the ornate balconies and decorative shutters of Barcelona, the hustle-bustle of Rome and the high fashion population of Milan. New York exists in the huge green city parks, where skateboarders and rollerbladers cruise expertly in between the joggers and walkers. On the one day that it rained it could've even been Edinburgh's Grassmarket. Something for everyone. Buenos Aires...

After an emotional reunion at the airport all were eager to get into the city and catch up .Our round little taxi driver was adept at driving at high speed while examining British coins and turning round to talk to his passengers in the backseat. He also managed to do a fair bit of over-excited clapping. Obviously not a subscriber to the 'hands at ten and two' philosophy. Order of the day was beer, wine and sunshine. Mum and sister in Argentina for a fortnight, me and Woody embracing the opportunity to steal more stuff from a hotel. A couple of days in the fashionable district of Palermo Soho - with three women keen on exploring every shop. Practically forced to get my gay on and be interested in dresses and shoes and curtains and doylies. And jewellery. By the end of the first day I was sipping champers and eating a lemon merangue cupcake (first stop - my thighs) like one of dem girls off Sex and the City. Tell you...

Nevertheless, Palermo is a beautiful and fantastic place to spend time, lots of street cafés for a cheeky lunchtime beer and plenty of attractive residents to watch - walking their poodles, having a fancy salad or generally swanning around in the Buenos Airesness of it all. My mother had rented an apartment for a week and it was phenomenal. High up, with amazing views out over Buenos Aires - at night there was a dusky blue and orange light over the city making it look like something from a Michael Mann film, one of his filtered Miami or Los Angeles cityscapes. On the roof, a pool, jacuzzi and running track. Sheer luxury, and worlds apart from the last few months of sparse hostels, snorers and weirdos. To go off track slightly, our latest weirdo was a diminutive Chilean in Bahia Blanca. He had a propensity for eating frozen pizza (still frozen) and drinking copious amounts of alcohol for his size - no doubt one of the contributing factors for the screaming night terrors he had while everyone tried to sleep. The other contributing factor could well have been his choice of underwear - straight off the toddler shelves at BabyGap, surely nobody has any business wearing pants so tiny. Y-fronts no less. He slept - or was at any rate unconscious - face down with no blanket so our first encounter with the pants was enough to give everybody night terrors. The sheer physics of those pants were baffling, and unfair to anyone unfortunate enough to see them. Couple this with a strange set of social skills and a floor length black trenchcoat and he was a real treat to share a room with. Some sort of tight-panted streaker, I'll wager...

Anyway we settled into the apartment and the Palermo lifestyle nicely. The horsey people all gathered on Saturday for the polo. "What handicap are you now, Miles?". The Yellows played equally as well as the Reds, and eventually sneaked victory. Everyone agreed that the real winner was the sport of polo. I think. Quite a confusing game really, but only a small fraction of the people in the crowd are watching the match so it doesn't matter anyway. Most of the girls there are trying to be seen by the next Prince Harry, hoping to be swept off their feet and into a Bentley or a private jet by some rich, toothy type. Others amuse themselves by watching the girls watching the boys watching the girls go by. Who would've thought that Andy Williams was writing about the sport of polo all along? All things considered a most excellent way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Other great successes of the Buenos Aires campaign include a trip to the Recoleta cemetery where rich families have built luxury marble mausoleums for their dearly departed. Eva Peron and family are buried here. San Telmo antiques fair of a Sunday was a relaxing way to explore another borough of the city. Woody was a flippin' nightmare - absolutely in her element, the girl wouldn't move for looking at the stalls upon stalls of old jewellery, clothes and photographs. Generally the three women in question made thorough examination of the majority of products in the majority of shops and I'm glad they enjoyed it. I made use of my time by looking awkward and shuffling about knocking into expensive things. My dear ol' mum fed us up good and proper with some amazing meals - huge steaks the size of my arm, massive salads, delicious pasta and chunky pizzas. Our little stomachs hungered for nothing, and banter flowed around the balcony on the nights when all we needed was cheese, olives and wine. Cheers ma.

The crowning jewel of their visit was a trip to Iguazu Falls on the Argentine-Brazil border. Stunning and astonishing. The warm up was a walk along the smaller waterfalls followed by a 'shower' of sorts in the spray of one of the closer falls. All of the preceding waterfalls were blown out of the water by the Garganta del Diablo - The Devil's Throat. A mile-wide brown river drifts slowly past as we walk the mile or so over the bridges to the viewpoint. As the gigantic waterfall comes into view it does look as if the Devil has opened his mouth and is swallowing the whole river. Thunderous torrents of water crash into oblivion - it's impossible to see the bottom becuase of the huge amount of spray, and just as difficult to hear yourself think. The senses are bombarded. I think possibly my tiny little human brainbox is just too small to fully process and interpret the waterfalls. It was there long before we existed, and will outlive us all without even trying. Majestic, powerful, breathtaking. The agitated water looked like the topping of the world's largest apple crumble drifting in slow motion over the edge and into oblivion. Infinitely. It looks as though it lives, like an absolute giant - maybe an immortal being. Truly a head-spinning wonder, definitely puts you in your place in this world.

We returned to Buenos Aires just in time to see the Futbol Super Clasico between Boca Juniors and River Plate suspended due to inclement weather. The whole city was subjected to torrential rain for the entire day, which was a shame for my mum and sister on their last day. Our resolve wasn't dampened and we still managed a bottle of bubbly before heading into the night for a delicious last supper of tempura, cheese, ham and potatoes. Good times. Much love and many thanks to the two of them for trekking all the way out here and treating us to a bit of luxury mixed with great experiences and home comfort. A cracking two weeks had by all, it won't be forgotten...

"Were they just playing bingo on this bus?" Yep, they were playing bingo on nightbus. Yet another point scored for the nation in the Argentina vs. Rest of the World bus olympics. Currently we're in Mendoza (westside), home to the country's finest vineyards and as a result the wine capital of Latin America. Dangermouse...